I think it's been over a year now since I put a post on my blog. Wow, could it really be?? I think my life took a series of so many twists n turns and high n lows, that the blog just kinda took the "back seat". It was actually my outlet for a period of time, to be able to write and share pictures with all of my family and good friends who I feel I can trust my inner most personal thoughts, feelings, experiences and pictures with! But I think all of you who have access to my blog address, already know what I've gone thru, so you are all the people that I trust with my LIFE.. so once again I feel you are the ones that are significant and meaningful in so many ways that it is a joy to write again and just share personal thoughts.
I have so much I want to say and write about, but for now, just for today I want to write about one person who has touched my life in a way that I truly can not fully tell, but I will try my best in another way.
I met John a few years ago... he's been an amazing friend to me thru good times and bad times.. highs and lows, as relationships go. But this man, stands out among all friends that I have ever had. Our friendship is timeless and will last forever.
Without going into much detail or explanation of years prior, I would just like to say this. He has such an interspective on people and life and ME that dare I say, it is a bit overwhelming (in a good way), to know that HE would do something that is so meaningful... for ME, and in so many ways... with the purest of heart, and with no expectation of anything in return. That is Johnny's style, all the way. He is my dearest friend and someone who I trust and that I place in such high regard. He truly makes me smile.
I have had to hold so much that is private to me... exactly that, private. I know my decisions have not always been good with people, and I know my family and dear, close friends protect me because they love me and do not ever want to see me get so burned and hurt again, because it affects everyone. We are such an incredibly close family and I thank God every day for each of you. I would not change a thing, and I am so grateful for the love and protection that I have from you. You are my life, my everything, and I will never jeapordize each of my precious relationships with you. I know that you only want my happiness and that everything you do for me is out of love. If I died today, I would be the happiest girl God placed on His beautiful Earth, because I had each of you. You are my whole world.
I felt so compelled to write about John tonite because he did something so extraordinary for me, that it brought tears to my eyes for days. No one knows what the last few years have done to me... I'm still recovering, but I'm getting better. I just didn't want to talk about any of my depression with the people in my life that feed me with so much love and support, I just always want to be a rock for each of you in the best way I know how. I'm sure you noticed I was struggling and pretending I was ok when I really wasn't, but I never wanted to let it show. I felt like I always needed to be the strong one for my family... my kids, and that I shouldn't reveal what felt like at the time, weakness. God forbid, right? We are Jackson's! We are the toughest of the tough!! We never give up. I thank Gramps for teaching that value to me, to us! I love him for that because it's helped me to always hold my head high, no matter what is going on.
So, now, Johnny this is for you. You are one of those extraordinary people, who showed up at the most needed times, said the things someone, that is truly in healing, needs to hear to feel loved and valued, and you never expected one thing in return. I will never forget what you did for me.. and how you made me feel for 2 perfect days. You "knew" what was needed in my life, and you handed me this perfect "50" year Birthday gift, of experiences and memories. It was awesome on every level. Thank you for inspiring me to write again. Mandalay Bay, I have to say, is the most unforgettable night for me. But every experience with you there is now a precious memory that I will savor forever! It was truly 2 days of magic, and 2 days that allowed me to let go of all my worries and cares. You made me laugh and you made me cry... but the happy cry kind! Oh, wow did I cry. Only God knows what that meant to me. I love you my pure, eternal friend who has blessed my life in at least 7 thousand, ok, million ways!!!
I die.
15 years ago
